[lists]

I am not a list person. I don't think it's because I don't like them (although it's true that I hate making lists); I think it's more because I'm not exactly sure how to do them. I need lists. And now I'm learning how to use them.

My family is so different. My mom has always done everything for us. She's just trying to help, although she takes on way too much, and it's fostered in me a laziness that I didn't realize I had until recently. I've recognized in myself that I am an undisciplined person. Growing up I never HAD to do anything…even in my homework habits I barely did what I needed to do. I've always received exceptional grades for my work (I'm graduating from college with a 3.8) and yet I realize that what I turn in isn't my best- it's just mediocre. There are few things in my life that I give my all to. People are my top priority (yet I don't always give them my all), especially people I love or people who need me. Actually, I think if I were to pinpoint the thing that I absolutely throw my whole being into, it's loving others. My academics, my work ethic, even sometimes my spiritual life- they're all just so-so. I live in a world of mediocrity- and I loathe it. Mediocrity strikes down any potential of excellence in our lives. It's disgusting and I don't want to give in to it.

So what does all of this have to do with lists? Lists are a way to manage life. Lists tell you what needs to be done. It's a way of organizing the ridiculous amount of things we do in a day so we can properly give our all in every single one of them. I want to give my all- and all for God's glory.

Please help me, God, to not be a mediocre person! Give me strength to be faithful, disciplined, loving, and wise.

Now if only I could master this list thing…